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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23029975">Ways to annoy the Links and get on their nerves.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leine_the_Weirdo/pseuds/Leine_the_Weirdo'>Leine_the_Weirdo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda &amp; Related Fandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A lot of humor, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Or my sense of humor, Time is best dad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:14:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,394</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23029975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leine_the_Weirdo/pseuds/Leine_the_Weirdo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just as the title and tags say. Inspired by an Attack on Titan fanfic. Linked Universe doesn't belong to me.<br/>Please comment and leave kudos.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. All of the Links</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>1. I will not give any of the Links caffeine, alcohol, or sugar.</strong>
</p><p>After the Hyrules were destroyed, the Links woke up with Time, Wind, and Twilight on the biggest hangovers ever and their Zeldas and Malon recycling wine bottles.</p><p>
  <strong>2. I will not call Wild a zombie</strong>
</p><p>Wild chased Legend for hours while the rest of the Link squad watched them.</p><p>
  <strong>3. I will not give Wild nuclear bombs and/or sea fire.</strong>
</p><p>Everyone ran for cover as Wild attempted to get a "Fire Demon Cucco" as his pet.</p><p>
  <strong>4. I will not tell Sky Loftwing burgers are for dinner.</strong>
</p><p>It was the first time anyone saw Sky cry and almost murder Warrior.</p><p>
  <strong>5. I must <em>never <span class="u">EVER</span></em> hold a karaoke night and invite the Links.</strong>
</p><p>Warrior's singing. </p><p>
  <strong>6. I will not get Wild to be the psychologist over all the Links.</strong>
</p><p>After Twilight, Four, <em>and </em>Time ran away screaming and everyone had to put out the seventh forest fire that day, they decided that maybe it was better for everyone to brood on their own.</p><p>
  <strong>7. I will not ask if Vio is gay for Shadow.</strong>
</p><p>Four had to be tied up with rope, chain, <strike>and the insides of the monsters Wild keeps</strike>, and the strange slimy ropes Wild denied were intestines.</p><p>
  <strong>8. I will not throw random objects from Twilight's inventory and claim to be playing fetch with him.</strong>
</p><p>The others knew it was worth it, even if they would wake up in the middle of the night with Wolfie 'accidentally' hacking in their faces (my dog does this).</p><p>
  <strong>9. I will not tell Time that Malon is pregnant.</strong>
</p><p>The poor man fainted. Whether it was a lie or not, he was prepared for either.</p><p>
  <strong>10. I will not carry around Wild's Gerudo outfit and display it in front of the others.</strong>
</p><p>Wild took it back, but not before setting cuccos to attack the others.</p><p>
  <strong>11. I will not kidnap Aryll and use her as bait for wild animals for 'sightseeing'.</strong>
</p><p>Wind went full flaming big sibling mode on the random moblin, and the others learned that day to never hurt Aryll lest they wanted their skulls smashed into their brains with the pirate ripping out their hearts and holding it in front of their face. </p><p>
  <strong>12. I will not ask Hyrule for pixie dust and I will never call him Tinker Bell.</strong>
</p><p>This time, Hyrule chased Legend for hours while the others watched.</p><p>
  <strong>13. I will not announce Malon/the Zeldas are on their periods. </strong>
</p><p>After several panic attacks, meltdowns, and screams, the women came to ask what was going on. They were set to relax all day. The funniest thing is that none of them were on their period. </p><p>
  <strong>14. Make them watch the If Link Could Talk series</strong>
</p><p>While the Links found some of it funny, they dreaded the day anyone else watched it. (Someone please write a fanfic about that! Pretty please!)</p><p>
  <strong>15. When in Wild's Hyrule, I will not claim the moon is having a period. </strong>
</p><p>The reactions were beautiful as everyone choked on whatever they were eating or drinking (it was dinnertime), nearly dying of laughter.</p><p>
  <strong>16. I will not introduce the Links to a bogart.</strong>
</p><p>Everyone (minus Sky) ran away screaming when it transformed into a cucco.</p><p>
  <strong>17. I must not set them upon a cucco's rage.</strong>
</p><p>And lo, the once quiet field was stolen of its quietness when the screams of "SKYYYYY, I'LL KILL YOU!" rang around as the Links ran around, with Wild trying to get them to Death Mountain. In the midst of the demon chickens, the Skyloftian was on the ground, in pain and crying from all his laughter.</p><p>
  <strong>18. I will not give Wild cooked fish and tell him he's eating the remains of Mipha after he's swallowed some.</strong>
</p><p>The boy was crying as he blew up the remains and trying to get himself to vomit.</p><p>
  <strong>19. I will not tell Time that I am bored.</strong>
</p><p>He responded with a, "Hi Bored, I'm Dad." </p><p>
  <strong>20. I will not allow Wild to do as he pleases.</strong>
</p><p>Time woke up to Twilight shaking him awake to find the other Links screaming, the trees burning, the remnants of animals scattered everywhere. They searched for Wild and lo and behold, there in a field, was Wild, in nothing but his underwear and mud markings on his face, the grass on fire, bombs blowing up, every single monster imaginable (minus the Ganons, Demise, Ghirahim, cuccos and the other Links) dying in spectacular ways with Wild screaming: I AM A GOD!!!!! FEAR ME!!!</p><p>
  <strong>21. I will not stall to stop Wild when he does #20.</strong>
</p><p>Wild got on his ride (a bear on fire) and rode off into the sunset, cackling like a crazy person. The least crazy thing about that was that it was morning.</p><p>
  <strong>22. I will not use a knife as a football.</strong>
</p><p>Time and Twilight watched in horror as Wild went headlong with the knife, aiming the blade at Hyrule's face. It was insane that nobody actually got hurt.</p><p>
  <strong>23. I will not take away a plushie from Red.</strong>
</p><p>Four got his plushie of a fox back, but not before he destroyed Legend.</p><p>
  <strong>24. I will not watch Wild and Flora's first (?) kiss.</strong>
</p><p>Their kiss looked like the weird kiss from Jumanji. Flora broke it first. "That was..." She said, a strange look on her face. </p><p>"Fantastic." Wild finished, dreamily. And he was dead (no pun intended) serious. </p><p>"What the fuck, Wild?" Twilight questioned, watching from afar.</p><p>
  <strong>25. I will not sarcastically ask if the Links are virgins.</strong>
</p><p>When Ravio did this, a very awkward silence came. </p><p>"What does that mean?" Wild finally asked.</p><p>
  <strong>26. I will not give Wild the Talk.</strong>
</p><p>Everyone ran, but Twilight, who sighed.</p><p>"Listen, Wild, when usually two people want to get down together, usually for love, they-"</p><p>Thirty minutes and a memory later.... </p><p>Wild avoided eye contact with a very red face.</p><p>
  <strong>27. I must not convince Wild to dress up as Sailor Moon.</strong>
</p><p>He pulled off the costume surprisingly well. Everyone was impressed.</p><p><strong>28. I will not get Time </strong> <b>drugged.</b></p><p>Time proclaimed his undying love for Malon and spent all night talking about her. He was still out of it when they got to Lon Lon Ranch.</p><p>"Fuck me, Malon." Time whisper-screamed. Malon looked at the others.</p><p>"Um, Link, the others are here."</p><p>"Get out of the house and do chores." Time ordered, glaring at the others, who were trying, and very much failing, not to start laughing.</p><p>4 hours later...</p><p>Time exited the house, with Malon laughing, and looked at the others, who just burst into laughter.</p><p>"What?" Time remembered nothing. </p><p>
  <strong>29. I will not give Wolfie a bath.</strong>
</p><p>Twil- I mean, Wolfie got his revenge as he shook himself off, getting everyone else wet.</p><p>
  <strong>30. I will not break into Wind's supply of booze.</strong>
</p><p>Time was appalled over how much Vodka a fourteen-year-old could smuggle and hide from the other Links.</p><p>
  <strong>31. I will not call a group hug on Time</strong>
</p><p>It was the fastest anyone had ever seen the old man run away. He even face planted before scrambling up to get away. (Goron grpup hug in OOT gave me inspiration)</p><p>
  <strong>32. I will not make Wind yell for long distances for the other Links.</strong>
</p><p>When Time and Wind saw the others, Wind called out to them and gave the best voice crack Time ever heard. The laughter was worth it, even after the kick to the balls.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2 cause I didn't want to scroll down in chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>33. I will not call Koholint a wet dream.</strong>
</p><p>Legend almost murdered the all knowing creature that was lurking somewhere in Hyrule (the place).</p><p>
  <strong>34. I will not set Warriors up on a blind date.</strong>
</p><p>Warriors chased Legend with a sledgehammer, dragging Time along, who had tried to stop him by holding him back.</p><p>
  <strong>35. I will not worship the old demons</strong>
</p><p>It was pretty awkward for Time and Twilight to walk in on Wild and Sky pretending to be part of the cult. It was even more awkward that Sky and Wild were wearing nothing but their underwear, although, for Wild, this was normal.</p><p>
  <strong>36. I will not worship the goats in Ordon.</strong>
</p><p>Time walked out of the house, having finished exchanging stories with Rusl and saw Twilight bowing to a goat and saying prayers.</p><p>"Cub.... what the fuck are you doing?"</p>
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